Unlocking the power of saying yes

Have you ever hesitated to try a new adventure? Or maybe you’ve decided against doing something because of a particular fear. We have all been there at one time or another. It’s natural to have a fear of the unknown. And it’s understandable to avoid what makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable. But challenging yourself or conquering a fear can result in personal growth and joy. As Shonda Rhimes said in her TedTalk, “A crazy thing happened: the very act of doing the thing that scared me undid the fear, made it not scary.” ¹

Here are some techniques to help you overcome fear and unlock the power or saying “yes”.

Accept Yourself

Recognize and acknowledge your feelings of nervousness at facing a new challenge. Accept your fears but don’t let them stop you.

Fifteen years ago, I wasn’t much of a biker. Sure, I knew how to ride a bike, but I didn’t own a road bike and I envied people who took long rides on roads. How could they risk getting hit by a car or crashing their bike? This is a legitimate concern in my opinion, but I decided to tackle it. I mitigate my fears by wearing neon colors and I have flashing lights on my bike. I also ride early morning when there is less traffic and I stick to quiet roads.  Recently I had the chance to go on a bike ride in Tuscany, so I’m glad I conquered this fear; I also tried mountain biking in Vermont and explored Jamestown, Virginia on two wheels.

Try Breathing Exercises

When you start that new adventure or try to conquer a fear you may start to get anxious. Breathing exercises are a great way to manage panicky feelings. Inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 8. Try to slow down as you do it and take nice deep breaths. Play with whatever time variation works for you in a 1 to 2 ratio of inhaling to exhaling.

Not long ago my husband and I decided to hike Camel’s Hump Mountain, the third highest peak in Vermont. This hike is a challenge and we had underestimated how long and hard it would be. I started doubting that we would make it to the summit before dark. Not only did breathing help calm my worries, but it also helped me find a good pace. Read more about our hike here.

Talk to Yourself

Question your thoughts and think about whether your fear is legitimate. Think about the likelihood of your fear being realized. Be kind to yourself; speak to your inner self as if you are speaking to a friend; don’t beat yourself up.

I’m not wild about heights, even though I’m a skier. I’ve gotten used to chair lifts, but sometimes there comes a chairlift that is super high that makes my knees quiver. This happened to me on Capri. We had trekked all the way up the Phoenician Steps to get to the famed Mount Solaro chairlift and it was high. My heart started to race but I talked to myself and decided that the chance of a chairlift accident was slim. I ended up enjoying the ride and saw some amazing views.

Start gradually and build up

Bit by bit work up to the activity that you are hoping to try. Expose yourself to it in small increments. The more you do it the more you will start to feel comfortable.

I have always wanted to learn to sail. Our family charted a sailboat in the BVIs, but my husband and my college racing daughter did most of the sailing. I searched around and found adult sailing lessons and I also started reading up on the basics of sailing. Little by little I started to feel more confident. This past spring, I signed up for a racing series which is a great way to hone my skills even more. I’m glad I worked my way up to this and plan on continuing with it again this spring.

The benefits of conquering your fear and trying a new adventure are readily evident after you have done it. You get an adrenaline rush and feel positive about yourself. Most likely you will also feel accomplished and confident. Even if you say to yourself that you’re never doing it again you will probably feel good that you tried it. And perhaps you will find a new adventure that you want to continue doing.

If you’d like some ideas to incorporate active adventures into a trip, click here. And make sure to subscribe in the upper right-hand corner of your screen so you don’t miss any of my posts.

Shonda Rhimes: https://www.ted.com/talks/shonda_rhimes_my_year_of_saying_yes_to_everything